


Not All Exits Are Made Equal

by LeakyCherry



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I wrote this for myself, Vent Piece, contemplation of death, its okay i cried too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23983165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeakyCherry/pseuds/LeakyCherry
Summary: Not all exits are made equal, Byleth learned that the hard way. A drabble about death, mourning, and what it means to have someone leave your life.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Kudos: 12





	Not All Exits Are Made Equal

Jeralt’s death had been sudden, traumatic, and devastating to young Byleth. No matter what she did, she could not save him. For a young woman who had lived her life as a Mercenary, the _Ashen Demon_ no less, death had been a part of her life. But it would be her blade that would slay her enemy. For all it mattered, her and her father were immortal. Though they could get hurt, they would never die. He would never die. Not as long as she had his back.

But he did. She was there, and she couldn’t do a _damn **thing**_ about it.

It took her years to recover. The Five Year Nap she had taken did nothing to help ease the pain of mourning for a man who had now been gone for half a decade. Everything had changed and old wounds had scarred and made way for new ones in a land plagued by the war of her former students. And here she was, the same in both mind and body.

They lost good men in that war. Her students and friends, as hard as she had tried to spare their lives in hopes of them joining her cause, could not always be swayed. So they were torn down by the blades of their former peers.

But they won. In the end. Edelgard was destroyed and the rebuilding process could begin. And as Faerghus rebuilt, Dimitri ascended the throne and took Byleth as his beloved wife. They helped each other through their trauma, the best way they could.

Dimitri’s trauma was so deep, so complex, and he had been left a husk of his childhood self. That pain would never go away, but he had Byleth by his side, and with her help he found ways to manage and heal as best he could.

Byleth didn’t like to think she had trauma, but as it turns out, Dimitri wasn’t the only one who suffered from nightmares. From flashbacks. From those thoughts of “What if”s and “It should have been me!”. She never had a proper time to mourn her father; running from one battle to the next. Just trying to survive to fight another day.

It was… Tough. For a long time. Having a family with him almost felt like Sothis’ gift for her suffering. But Her gift only served to hurt more in the end, when over the years more noted her lack of aging. The lack of smile lines or graying hair, as one would expect of an older woman. She didn’t want to believe it, acknowledge it; but her mint green hair and eyes, her pointed ears and never fading youth told her all that she wished wasn’t true.

Byleth Eisner-Blaiddyd wasn’t going to age. She wasn’t going to die.

The flow of time took its toll on everyone else, however. Even her Beloved.

It started with his memory. The small things. Like writing a letter, or a missed meeting. He would sometimes confuse dates, times, or whether he had just done something.

But then he began to forget more. Recent events, more meetings, even the more important ones. He would repeat things he’d said as though it were the first he’d said it. He would give Byleth a bouquet of flowers, and then again five minutes later with the same bouquet. His words lacked sense, as though he was responding to an entirely different conversation.

These were the more pleasant parts. Others were… Less so. Forgetting where he was, becoming scared or angry. Staring off into space as if in a dream, and coming to, only to realize he doesn’t recognize his own councilmen.

He had an illness no one could heal. Not even Flayn. It was an illness of the mind. One that would only get worse overtime until he succumbed to it.

Byleth was there for him every second of the day. Talking with him and reminding him if he suddenly did not know who he was. He always knew her though. With a look in his eyes that were so bright and clear that for those few moments Byleth could pretend they were just spending the day together.

The brain works in mysterious ways. It will remember your deepest fears, your happiest moments, your worst regrets. But it does not always work how we want it to.

His condition only worsened, the degeneration of his mind becoming so clear that the news had spread far and wide that the beloved King of Faerghus was on his certain deathbed.

The remaining students of the Blue Lions sat around him, he was as awake as he was asleep. Barely aware of his surroundings. His friends, his Family surrounded him to say their last words. Even knowing he may not be aware of them or know they were talking. Byleth squeezed his hand. “We’re all here for you Beloved. You are safe, you can finally rest now.”

A small tear cascaded down his hollowed and pale face. He smiled. And then he was gone. Byleth, in a room full of her oldest friends, was alone once again. Her son would ascend the Throne. As for her, she had some soul searching to do. Far far from here.

A wise man once said “When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal.” Byleth understood now just what that meant.

Her father’s had been so sudden, and she could do nothing to help before the light had already left his eyes.

Dimitri was surrounded by the ones he loved, holding her hand. He smiled as he left this world.

Death is never fair. We love those who we know will die one day, and we cannot change that. But the moments, the ones where you can send them off to the next life, the ones where you can hold their hand and give them comfort as they confront the great unknown, is the only kind of exit we can hope to have. To give.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for myself. I usually write vent pieces, to help me find a way work my feelings through characters i feel can relate to this. The illness I was referencing is Dementia, which is what my grandmother was just diagnosed with. Its... tough. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. All I know is I want to make this exit as smooth as I can, so I know she doesn't leave this world completely alone.
> 
> anyway, I hope you guys like this...? I have another fic, called Maybe. If you want I'd love to hear your thoughts on either stories. thank you for reading.
> 
> And yes its a The Adventure Zone reference


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